Did you know you’re a “walking story” and an “unwritten book”, my friend? Or maybe you’ve already shared your story with the world? If you haven’t done it yet, it’s time.
‘Storytelling’ has been a buzz word for years. It doesn’t matter what profession you have and who you work with.
Sharing your personal story connects you with people, unfolds a new side of your personality, makes you more vulnerable and real. It even reveals something new to your friends who’ve known you for years.
Let me share my 10 stories with you. Each one of them will have lessons and take-aways. I hope they’ll encourage you to think of YOUR personal story and how YOU can tell it to the world.
MY STORY #1 – Who Shaped You?
What do you think shaped you into who you are today? What influenced your decisions and way of life?
I’m sure, if you look back, you’ll remember people or events that sculpted you piece by piece, brush by brush into the masterpiece you are now!
I was born in the far Northwest of Soviet Russia, in the city of Murmansk. It’s located north of the Arctic Circle, about 70 miles from the border with Norway and 100 miles from the Finnish border.
Such closeness to foreign countries gave my English language school and our English teachers lots of opportunities to build bonds with schools in Norway and Finland.
I’ll never forget my English teacher and will be grateful to her forever. Her creativity, courage, use of new techniques during lessons and the ability to see beyond the limits of the Soviet system enormously influenced my life.
Thanks to her, I fell in love with the English language (which became my first over time). Thanks to her I understood that learning doesn’t have to be boring. It can be fascinating, creative, innovative, unusual and fun.
Who shaped you? Think of three people in your life besides your family who influenced your the most?
MY STORY #2 – Limiting Beliefs
Do you know how many thoughts flow through your mind in one second? Frankly, I have no idea. But I’m sure there’s more than one thought in my mind at any given moment.
They flow and dance, take each other’s place, surrender or dominate. We’re creatures of thought, we form beliefs and carry them through life. And it gives us the illusion that we get to control our own beliefs. The truth is we don’t. For the most part. Unless we look back into our past, of course, and try to understand how our beliefs were formed.
My thinking in the first 12 years of my life was formed under the influence of the decaying Soviet system and Soviet propaganda. Especially since my Dad was a communist leader in the whole Murmansk region. My brother and I even got special treatment from the teachers and the principal in school because of that. I even felt like a privileged kid at times. But it all didn’t last long.
Our Mom and Dad might have sensed some changes in the air. And one year before the Soviet Union collapsed they moved our whole family from cold northern Murmansk to beautiful Ukraine.
That’s where it all started. Hard times with lack of money and scarcity of food. Dad’s drinking problems. Parents’ arguments. Unemployment and hopelessness. However, in the midst of all this they were always able to feed us and give us their love.
There was one crucial moment during those years that formed an important but wrong belief in my head.
Right after moving to Ukraine thanks to his previous leadership positions my Dad landed a few pretty prestigious jobs. One of them was even deputy of the mayor. However, the town was small, the jobs were boring to him. So, he agreed to the proposition of his brothers-in-law to start a business together.
It lasted a few months.
My memories from those times are of my father coming home drunk almost every day and repeating that entrepreneurship is not for him. That it’s not in his blood.
And that’s what I started to believe. That it’s not in our blood to start a business. And that all my life I’d work for somebody else and receive a salary that somebody decides to give me.
This is the limiting belief that I had to fight with and break in the last two years. This is the thought that used to cuff my hands behind my back. But it will do it no more! I can see limitless possibilities that God gives me. Nothing can stand in my way.
What limiting beliefs do YOU have? What stops you from reaching all your potential?
MY STORY #3 – Escape From Your Cage
Have you ever felt trapped? Living your seemingly normal regular life like everybody else, but feeling as if you’re suffocating. As if somebody locked you in a cage, and not even a gold one.
That’s how I felt during my last two years in high school. Living in a small town in rural Ukraine right after the collapse of the Soviet Union wasn’t fun. Almost no entertainment, no real opportunities for growth and development.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe at times. Not physically, of course, but metaphorically. Every minute felt like a year, every year like a decade. High school graduation was close, but time seemed to crawl like a snail.
One evening, I was looking through the window of our apartment and thinking: if I don’t escape from here, these walls will close around and smother me to death. “I’m not coming back”, I told my friends when we talked about life after university. “Oh, everybody says that. You’ll come back, you’ll see”, they told me with a patronizing smile.
I never went back to live there. Of course, I visit my family, but that town was my cage for 5 long years. It will never trap me again. Nothing and nobody will ever trap me again. What do they say? “The world is your oyster”? Yes it is! It’s my oyster, and my lobster and everything I want it to be.
What about you? What cage do you need to escape from? What walls keep you in and push you down? When you hear somebody say ‘dream big’, it’s not just another overused phrase. It’s the way the greatest inventions are created and most radical and useful changes are made.
“Here’s to the crazy ones.
they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs
MY STORY #4 – You Are A Story
The dream to write a book was born in my mind when I was 12. Or maybe 11. I know we lived in Murmansk at that time, and I was devouring books one after another.
Have you ever had the desire to write a book? I know a lot of people who do. And some of them have done it or at least started thinking about it more seriously. Because every person has a story to tell. Every person IS a story.
It seems inevitable to me. When you love books so much, get engrossed in them, fascinated by them, you can’t help but want to leave such a legacy for other people to enjoy as well.
Far away, in the corner of one of my drawers, there’s an old notebook which is more than 35 years old. It used to be my brother’s, but he eventually gave it to me. I wrote my first little story there when I was 10. “Adventures of an Apple and a Pear”. The girl was just creating about whatever was in front of her on the table.
And then teenage years brought first real tears and pain, feelings and disappointments. That’s when I got an idea to create a character, give her a different name and write about my life. I started my big novel and kept writing it for the next 5 years.
It’s still there, in the drawer. Honest and vulnerable in its nakedness.
And it’ll stay there. For now.
But I’m making this first step of courage and starting to share my life with you. To connect with you more and show you the real ME. To get a bit closer and get to know the real YOU.
It’s your turn now. Have you ever had the desire to write a book? Or at least a short story? Or create something else?
MY STORY #5 – There’s Always A Solution
An entrepreneur, an employee or an employer, I’m sure you experienced the challenge of lacking money for your project or a desirable plan. What do you usually do? Give up and forget or look for options and ideas?
Let me tell you a story of ‘hungry’ university students who could always find the way. Ok, we weren’t that hungry, just didn’t have enough money for expensive dance clubs. And oh boy, did we love to dance.
When studying in the university I lived in the dorm and had about $10 per week to spend for my needs. There were about 10 of us who spent most time together. We studied hard and played hard as well. We celebrated birthdays and organized parties. But what we loved the most was go dance in a pretty expensive night club.
Do you know how we managed to get in there for almost no money? First of all, we made sure all 10 of us would go together. (It was just safer since we were coming back late at night). The entrance to the club was free, but you’re supposed to buy food and drinks. What could poor students do?
We had a great idea. We each bought a tiny glass bottle of Sprite and danced there for hours. But of course, we’d get thirsty soon. Guess what we did. We’d go to the restroom and fill our green glass bottles with water to make it look like Sprite :). It helped us with thirst and created the illusion of always having drinks on our table. It was fun!
There’s always a way out, there’s always a solution. Never give up, never give in. Search, ask, knock, brainstorm, engage others, but don’t give up!
How do YOU solve problems? Do you cave in front of the challenges or do you get inspired to look for creative solutions?
MY STORY #6 – I Can Do Anything!
I CAN DO ANYTHING! Can you say that with confidence? What or Who gives you strength and inner power?
When studying in the university there were too many doubts in my life. Too many uncertainties and concerns. My belief system was weak and life values were undetermined.
And then my teacher of German turned my whole life around. He introduced me to the most important person in the whole world. And gave my life new meaning and purpose.
It was Easter holiday when my friend and I went to the celebration our German teacher organized right there, in one of the university halls. We always considered ourselves educated and intelligent people. But there was so much new information we had never heard before. It was fascinating!
That’s why our teacher’s invitation to come read the Bible with other students in his home was so attractive. And when I came there, I never wanted to leave that group of intelligent, fun, loving people. We had tea together, sang songs to a guitar, played games, read and discussed books from the Bible, argued, disputed, sometimes came to the same conclusion, sometimes not. But we definitely learned a lot about Christ, His unconditional love and His incredible power.
That’s when the foundation of all my beliefs was built. That’s when I first learned that “I can do anything through Christ Who gives me strength”. That’s when I realized that the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in me. If I believe in that, of course!
What about you? What is the foundation of your life and your beliefs?
MY STORY #7 – Freedom of Thinking
“When will you get married? Don’t you want to have kids?” These are the questions single and childless women get asked a lot.
It used to bother me in my 20s, even in my 30s a little bit. Not anymore. Maybe, because people stopped asking me these questions as often. Decided I’m hopeless, I guess 🙂. Or maybe, because my focus shifted and I find little time to worry about it now.
Whether it’s my defense mechanism or true belief, but I’m not going to succumb to the norms of the society which says every woman should want to get married and have kids. Aren’t we all different and unique? Why should we want the same thing?
The history of all my breakups dates back to my teenage years. And every broken-heart drama after that (there were plenty) added another layer to the complex mindset I eventually developed.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of all those breakups, except for the last one from 2013. Because it caused a crucial shift in my thinking and changed my whole life. But it’s already another story. And it’s going to be a part of My Story #8 and #9. So, stay tuned :).
For now, I can tell you that this mindset born in pain fiercely rebels against the standard thought of most people in most societies – the thought that a woman can be happy only when she’s married and has kids. Oh, how wrong they are!
I wish I could share at least a bit of my happiness with some married women who suffer in their marriage and have never-ending problems with their kids.
So, if you also have at least a bit of this rebellious spirit in you, you’ll understand me. Don’t try to be what others expect you to be. Don’t succumb to the norms created by other men. Or women.
You’re unique, with your own dreams and your own path. Nobody can dictate you how to live your life. Nobody should tell you what can make you happy.
MY STORY #8 – A Romantic Breakup or How Pain Can Be Our Friend
Every cloud has a silver lining. Isn’t it the best way of thinking and living? Whatever painful event happens in your life, it can always be seen as a blessing in disguise. It brings us powerful lessons and incredible life changes.
It was fall 2011 when I finally yielded to my friends’ nagging and decided to try online dating. Tinder and other apps made it an absolute norm now. But 10 years ago it was still embarrassing to admit you had met your boyfriend online.
He seemed so dreamy. A 6-foot tall lieutenant-colonel of the US Army. Intelligent and kind. Just what I liked.
When we first met, Tom’s unit was stationed in Northern Italy, a small beautiful town called Vicenza. That’s why it was pretty easy to visit each other even though we lived in different countries.
The first few months after we started dating he had just finished a marathon and it was all he could talk about.
– You should definitely run a marathon! – he kept telling me, only to hear my “NO way”, “Why would I torture myself like that?” However, slowly, gradually his ideas about a marathon crept into my mind and I started training.
My first marathon was a disaster. I was running it with an injury. And limping for 5 hours straight in cold rain wasn’t the best time of my life, to say the least. But the worst part came later.
Everything was happening in Italy where I came to visit Tom, see the country and run my first marathon. After the hardest 42 km in my life I needed a day of rest, of course. But right after that we went to see stunning gorgeous Florence.
Piazza del Duomo, Michelangelo’s David, romantic bridges and sunny warm weather. Everything seemed like a happy ending to a wonderful trip.
But then came THE dinner. I vividly remember the taste of the potato gnocchi mixed with my tears after we had THE talk.
You know what’s interesting? It’s not painful to remember all of this at all. I still love Italy and Italian food. I have the best memories about Florence. And even my super hard first marathon didn’t make me hate this kind of sport.
I’m unbelievably grateful to Tom for introducing me to marathons, for helping me fall in love with them. As they became a crucial and exciting part of my life!
I’m thankful to him for breaking up with me back then because I got something much bigger and better which I will share with you in my next story.
I’m forever grateful to God for taking me through that experience. Because it was another milestone that shaped me and turned my life around.
What painful experiences shaped YOU?
MY STORY #9 – Do It Scared or How I Started My Business
I’M SCARED! “What are you scared of?”, you’d ask me. And I’d say, “Oh, so many things!”
Courageous person is not the one without fear. It’s whoever acts in spite of being horrified. Horrified of the uncertainty, of failure and of rejection. Of lacking knowledge, skills, experience and clear vision. Audacious person acts in spite of fear. With trembling knees but brave and hopeful heart!
Right after my romantic breakup in gorgeous Italy, there were a few more failed attempts to build relationships with men. When finally I understood, the timing wasn’t right. There was something else for me out there to focus on.
And that’s when I started praying Jabez’s prayer. Have you heard of Jabez from the Bible? He was an honorable man who called on God and said: “Oh, Lord, bless me indeed and expand my territory.”
That’s what I started to ask every day and did it for more than a year: EXPAND MY TERRITORY.
I knew I wanted something big. I wanted to extend my reach beyond my country, beyond my current abilities and understanding.
The idea of starting a business and registering it in the US came unexpectedly. It was inspired by one of my students when we were having a 1×1 class in the early summer of 2015.
Somehow it felt right from the very beginning. I knew it was exactly what I was supposed to do. Especially after sharing the idea with friends and family and partners and more experienced advisors.
March 2016 is when my baby was born. ChangeView Academy. A company to provide English online to the Chinese market, and help aspiring entrepreneurs all over the world improve their business skills. Such as public speaking, habit building, goal-setting, creativity.
Some of my friends became investors, others joined our Board of Directors. I’m humbled and honored to be trusted by all these incredible people. And I’m determined to bring this company to its inevitable success with God’s help and everyone’s support!
You think I wasn’t scared to jump into something I had never done before? I was terrified! There was so much to learn, to uncover, to figure out that it was overwhelming. But I knew it was like in marathons: one foot in front of another, one step at a time.
MY STORY #10 – Impossible Is Just An Opinion
“Alice: This is impossible. The Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.” – Lewis Carroll
“Impossible is just an opinion.” – Paolo Coelho
What about you? What dream or desire of yours have you labeled as “impossible”? Why? Because you tried and failed? Or you never even tried being afraid of failure and regret?
The irony of life is such that our success in any serious and challenging endeavor is built on failures and lessons, wounds and tears. The secret is to never give up! Just keep searching for the right idea, for the way to climb your insurmountable peak.
When I started the company in 2016, it was a thrilling and emotional moment. My closest friends and I even celebrated the birthday of this ‘baby’ :). I thought I knew what I was doing at that time. Because, hey, I had a business plan after all. With all the graphs and necessary details.
The first realization of the failure came when I spent all our investors’ money on the marketing campaign in China. And got one student.
China has a unique and very complicated market. All business operates in a different cyberspace using their own Social Media channels and platforms. There’s no Facebook, no Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn. I knew it before entering the market, but it turned out much more challenging than I thought before.
The first two years were the hardest. I remember one Saturday morning in August 2017 when Debbie Nelson and I were getting ready for our meeting with potential teachers. I was supposed to be inspiring and optimistic, but I couldn’t hold back tears. “Do you think they’ll notice I was crying?”, I asked Debbie hoping to hide all negative emotions and pumping myself up for the meeting.
Nothing seemed to work at first. Advertising was a hungry insatiable beast. Marketing and sales turned out to be a special form of art.
But I refused to give up and started searching for new ideas, partnerships and contacts. Taking courses after courses, learning, reading, and applying.
The support of my friends and the board of directors was especially precious at that time. They continued to believe in me and my ideas. And I can never be grateful enough!
Finally, in 2018 there was a new strategy in place with the Chinese market, but still no clarity about online courses for the world.
That’s when I started searching for a business coach or a mentor. I knew I was stuck and couldn’t move further without clear guidance.
That’s when I met Dijana Llugolli. With her amazing ability to ask the right questions and give the best advice she helped me see the path. She cleared the fog in my brain and sent me in the right direction.
It’s an unbelievable feeling to know exactly where to go and what to do. It’s an exhilarating thought that I know clearly what I want now. And the vision is inspiring and fascinating.
The road won’t be easy, the climb will take time and lots of effort, but I’m not doing it alone. And I’m not afraid to fall because I’ll just get up and keep going. With everyone’s support, with God’s help, with faith, determination and persistence.
What about you? What failures stop you from moving forward? What dreams do you still consider impossible?